As the three children at the table behind us screeched like possessed banshees—piercing, deafening, sustained shrieks—I found myself reciting to myself, "It's a diner. They have a right to be here too. It's a diner. It's a diner." Without my having uttered a word, my boyfriend leans over and says, "Well, at least they're happy screams." Yes, everyone in the whole place knew just how happy these kids were. The parents' reaction? Full-blown, head thrown back, hysterical laughter and a half-hearted "shhhh" between guffaws at just how unbearably adorable this hearing-loss-inducing behavior was.
Over the past couple years, there have been more stories of restaurants banning children and horrifying tales such as the one of a mother who toilet trained her twins at the table during a busy restaurant lunch. In Dublin, Ireland, Matt the Thresher has made a name for itself with its low tolerance policy for disruptive children. In the UK and Australia, some cafés and restaurants don't outright ban children, but do ban their transportation.
On one side are parents who feel restaurants should not only welcome families, but should cater to children and parents. In the middle are those parents who enjoy dining out and don't see why bringing their children into any restaurant they choose should be an issue. On the opposite extreme (and I do mean extreme) are those who think children should be banned from public places altogether. So, who's right? Is there common ground? I took the question to my own friends for their opinions.
The specific question I asked was, "As diners, what are the pros and cons of having places [that do not allow children] available in your community?" Most insisted that parents are reasonable enough to remove a child who's melting down from a restaurant and that a ban is unnecessary and unfair. Others lamented that banning children from restaurants denies them the opportunity to learn manners and social graces. Other responses ranged from someone equating it to racial segregation to a friend with two lovely young daughters who said "I have kids, but I think a restaurant that doesn't allow kids would be great."
One friend without children suggested that parents aren't always the best judges of disruptive behavior and noise. "Kid noise is parent white noise," he shared. "Despite their often good intentions, parents have a higher tolerance for disruption." The majority of my parent friends felt it was unfair to ban children from anywhere the public is allowed just because they might be unruly. Others said that a restaurant should be free to take the hit on business by instituting a ban. The owner of McDain's Restaurant outside Pittsburgh, PA begs to differ on that last point.
So, if parents want their pint-sized diners to have a seat at the table, why are some restaurants imposing rules? Restaurateurs most often cite customer complaints as a reason why they're compelled to crack down on the littlest diners. Some cite safety issues caused by strollers and car seats in the dining room. From a parent's perspective, one fellow diner shared that the best reason for a childfree restaurant is a quiet date night with his wife when they've arranged care for their own children.
For all the opposing views, though, what it came down to was one common theme. It doesn't seem fair to ban a child who might be disruptive when we can't do anything about diners who act like out of control children. From Mary's Drunk Uncle, to the Forty-Something Wino, to Arrogant Loud Cell Phone Talker, we created quite a cast of characters. In a recent Huffington Post article, Michael Sanson takes on a shining example of just what kind of havoc these characters are capable of wreaking.
It seems most everyone has at least one example of an experience ruined by someone else's sense of entitlement, of people who don't think they should be responsible for controlling their own behavior or the behavior of their children. There are those who believe they have the right to go where they want and act how they want when they arrive, regardless of how it affects those around them. Those diners who would prefer to enjoy a nice meal free of unruly children and drunken uncles alike often don't feel they can count on this. Whether it's a parent who doesn't see fit to take a screaming child outside or the "investment banker" at the next table who has spilled his Manhattan on you for the third time while screaming into his cell phone, nothing ruins a great meal like your neighbor's bad behavior.
Source: http://www.urbanspoon.com/blog/106/Behaving-Badly.html
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